My wife essentially had to run the household at the age of 9. Often the mother was gone for several days. My wife had to raise her siblings. THe house was a mess, they often slept on sheets the dogs had peed on. Often my wife had to call realatives to bring food over when there was no food in the house. My wife has scars on her body from childhood falls that should have been stiched up, but the mom never took her to get fixed up.

OMIGOD Cemar. Well no wonder keeping a neat and clean house and being a good mom are important to your wife!! I am sorry that she has the relationship issues she does but I am impressed at how well she has taken care of herself given what she grew up with.

Then she tells me ALL of the things that she has done during the day, almost fishing for compliments. She seems to think that she is doing this for US. So she just expended all of her energy for the day doing things that really don't matter to me, they matter to HER. And then she expects me to appreciate all she has done. I don't freaking CARE if the house is clean, or if the bathrooms are clean, DOMESTIC life when my life is devoid of physical intimacy. It's like "See how much I did today, aren't I a good wife". She is focusing all of her efforts on the WRONG stuff, and actually exhausting herself doing it. Why do women DO THIS! Who is telling women that this is the IMPORTANT stuff in marriage? I swear she does this to impress OTHER WOMEN, it certainly is not for me.

Yeah she is fishing for compliments because she is proud of herself and would like to know that you recognize her. And good for her to do things that matter to HER. Now expecting you to appreciate them is a bit much because it is her value not yours to have a clean house. I will say it is pretty clear that keeping a clean house in her case shows how far she has come and how different she is than her mom.

By the way, how much do you help out with the house? Would getting a maid service be a help to your wife? If keeping a clean house is a priority for her, why not HELP her with her priority rather than criticize her for it????



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus