Another twist goes like this:

1. My partner is not happy/horny. She must be unhappy with me/turned off by me.
2. I must be doing something wrong.

From there you have a choice

3a. I must apologize for whatever it is.
3b. I must assume a "manly" role and get her in the mood.
3c. I must fix things and cheer her up.

Or you can try out all three, one after the other, to really get the message across.

Now no one can say you're blaming her for anything. But she notices that you feel like you have failed her, and will continue to feel like you have failed her until her mood improves. Now if she takes the bait and considers it her duty to improve your mood by improving her mood, this pressure will insure that her mood will not improve, and you'll have a nice feedback loop of despair.

I tried that out the other day and found it to be quite effective for several days. The loop didn't get broken until she said "let's go to the gym" and immersed both of us in GAL activities that distracted us and improved both our moods at the same time.

Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 07/26/07 02:56 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.