That's a tough one. What if the kids ask, you give out information in small bits.
Let's assume she's going to Cleveland
"Where is mom going?" To Cleveland
"Why". She taking a trip. Sort of a mini vacation for herself. Ask her about the details.
That's the truth. It's not the WHOLE truth, but it's true. It will probably end there.
Here are some other questions.
"Is she going to see someone?" Yes.
"Who". A friend of hers. Maybe you should ask mom.
If your wife wants to lie to her children, she's welcome to.
They are not stupid.
Yes...it's easy to lose respect for her at this time. Perhaps this will help you to detach. Remember, she's in a romantic fog that is very powerful. It's like a spell. Her conscience is suppressed or non-existent at the moment.
Yes you love her.
Your past affairs should be several things for you:
1. A source for understanding/compassion. What were you thinking at the time? Maybe she's thinking the same things.
2. A source of humility. You can't be self-righteous here.
3. A source of hope. You changed didn't you? She can change, too.
Here's what the affair should not be for you.
1. A source of guilt. If you still struggle with it, then go see minister or priest and offer your confession. Listen to the words of absolution as though God were speaking them to you. Let it sink in.
2. A source of shame that prevents you from reaching out to others for help. We are all messed up. What determines our character is out willingness to admit fault and make changes. You've done that.
You have plenty of opportunity to show her the new/improved you. Do it every day. It's what you do, not what you say.
