I do not agree with this. I do personally know people that have cheated and it was just that, A big mistake. A weak moment when they thought they could find what they were longing for with someone else. It doesn't make it right but it does happen. Most often when the lines of communication have broken down. And believe me I know about this been there done that H that is.
"A beautiful love letter that said that all she wanted was to be loved by me."
Im'e sorry if this sounds mean again but, in my Op i think the A( I don't know if I would call it an A more a 1 nite stand) 1 year into your R and being drunk, (as she stated to you) might have been because she felt you were not going any further in your R. And this statement(in the abvoe quotes) tells me that she really does love you and wanted something permenant with you.
By the way I am very proud of the way you are starting to evaluate your views on marriage. But it is still something you have to decide you need also for the two of you. It is part of having a life together that the two of you agree on.
"If I knew for a fact she would cheat in the future, decsions would be a lot easier, but as much as I hate to type it, I'm not even saying then it's black or white. I don't know what I'm even thinking to type that way but it's true."
Nothing is just black and white there are all sorts of circumstances involved most of the time. You are talking about the one slip up and how could she? Because... she might not think the R is going to go any where! She obviously loves you still but the feeling is starting to be clouded by you insisting that there is no permanent R IE: marriage (which she holds highly in regaurd givin her religous beliefs).
So the A definitaly not a black and white sitch and only you can decide how you want to handle all of this.
There are no perfect people in thids world Iv'e learned that cause I always thought my H was. Found out he makes mistakes and has issues just like anyone else. That is why there is a thing called forgiving.
If you haven't read Divorce Remeady please read it. It talks about doing 180's and maybe that would work in your sitch.
Ex: she mentioned your work schedule. Look at that and see what you could do to give yourself more time together.Then look at other areas where you have issues and adjust. When she sees the changes she very well may come around.
In my OP she is not cheating on you right now. But she may be exploring other options for her future, for her to be happy.
JAk
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
