Right or wrong, my gut reaction is that, yes, you are being too nice. What gives him the right to dictate when/how you can see your D? That's awful.
I agree with Atlas, it's like he's still trying to control you/the situation, which gets back to the point you've made many times about how he ignores/minimizes your feelings.
I don't know what the appropriate whack to this guy's forehead is going to be that might wake him up, but, yeah, something. How's that for some nice, vague advice?
I can't speak for all of us LBHs, but I'll guess that we'd all be ecstatic with your openness and willingness to work on the R were you our WAW.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY