last night a friend came by who is in town for a wedding. we talked for a while, he is going through his own d. seems like everywhere i turn lately, there are a lot of guys doing the same thing. not sure why, but i seem to be the only one working on my sitch. everyone else is dancing around the free life idea.
i can feel myself starting to detach. i think i'm protecting myself from her negative and d comments. i'm pretty conflicted right now in my thought, i think on the one hand she is just steading herself to take flight and on the other i think she is really lost and is starting to see that the grass isn't greener.
another thing i can't shake, i can tell she wants to tell me something and i think she is holding back, afraid that she will hurt me. i'm preparing for the a talk or om scenerio. no matter what i don't think i will lose my cool again, i'm too far from that anymore to even consider.
another thing that really bugs me is that w spends time at a bar that a good friend bartends at. friend is female and her boyfriend are really close to me. but lately they have gotten distant, seems like they are avoiding me. but they are pretty set that i need to move on. don't know if they have seen things at the bar that they can't bring themselves to tell me or not.
mostly i'm just thinking, need to keep rooted in the real. what she keeps saying is she is lost, can't decide, doesn't want to rely on me anymore, but is constantly reaching out for my help. welll on my way to work, will take s to her place and bring her coffee. i have s for the next two nights, so i'm excited. i think we are going to have to hit another baseball game, especially if the weather stays nice.
