Good to hear some rational common sense on this thread for once. Choc’s title bothered me too. All the posts on this thread after Choc announced that he had filed bother me. In fact, I am pretty well disgusted with everyone rallying around Choc to congratulate him on ending his marriage. WTF!? Is this what this board has become? If everyone is so keen to end their pain, then stand up and file yourself. Stop living vicariously, cheering Choc on to do the tough things you all don’t have the guts to do!
You misinterpreted my post. I am simply writing to Choc urging him to manage the tone and tenor of the upcoming inevitable conflict so as to minimize the collateral damage. If I were in his shoes, I'd be getting a divorce, too. The fact that this is a "Divorce Busting" site may be incompatible with my current bias towards divorce, which is why I have stood on the sidelines. ChocolateEyes implied this in an earlier post: marriage is precious, but it is not worth more than your integrity. I don't know how many discussions I've seen where the posters would give anything to keep their marriage together. I feel very sorry for many of them and the bad bargain they are offering.
The book I recommended is very supportive of people who feel the need to get divorced. She rails against the guilt trips that get placed on divorcees. She gives hard statistics showing that couples that can manage conflict and negotiate custody issues reasonably end up with healthy family lives and health kids. And she rails against the scientifically dodgy studies screaming that divorce is the end of civilization.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
