Choc's been here long time and tried his best. People are not celebrating his need to divorce, but the personal strength that he has discovered over time. He is, with the full background of his sitch known, making a highly rational choice. His spouse has been given the extra mile, the extra incentive. He's gone above and beyond.
Yes, it's tragic that his relationship is failing. No, it's not wrong for him to take a personal stand. Fact is, most of us lowly mortals would have bowed out with just the sheer length of the sexless marriage he's put up with. Couple that with an affair and that's pretty much a given. Point is, he's tried even after the affair to do the best by his relationship but his spouse POINT BLANK REFUSES to do, well, anything.
We celebrate his personal growth, we cry as the loss of another marriage but we know that he's doing the best he can.
This board isn't really about saving marriages so much as about personal growth. Sometimes, with personal growth, new insights are learned which can then benefit a failing relationship. Sometimes that growth, as I think I see in Choc's case, points out fatal flaws in relationship dynamics.
I wish the best for Choc, support him in whatever decision he makes and pray to the god's advidly that the women he's been married to this point has a brutal awakening and self-realisation. It won't be pretty when she really digs deep and realises how she mistreated the gift of her marriage. Not pretty at all.
