Different for me? Well.. different from a year ago, yes. Different from 6-8 months ago, no. It's something I worked on a bit just shortly pre-bomb, and a lot post-bomb. Probably our best months of ML were shortly pre and post bomb. Not to get into details but, the most passionate, uninhibited, for sure.
Semi-recently I've been trying to initiate more.. was great fora while, but now I often get a really cold shoulder. Sometimes just a 'roll over in bed and pretend to be asleep,' sometimes an actual "I'm not interested right now, please leave me alone." So a couple weeks ago I decided no more initiating - he wants it, he can pursue me!! He's done that a couple times and it was great - and it kinda seemed like what we BOTH wanted/needed.
The last month or so... well, I almost feel like me initiating pisses him off. I'm not deciding for him, really... it's pretty apparent (without getting TOO graphic, I give him a passionate kiss and (ahem) rub in the right places and he pushes my hand away and says "NO, not right now"). I think I was trying TOO hard and it really put him off, or something.. least that's how it feels.
I may be WAY off base but I kind of think he's getting older, not feeling as "horny" as he used to almost non-stop, and now here I am initiating more, and he can't always do what he'd like to. (uuugh I hope that doesn't sound totally embarassing for either of us!).
I totally agree it's time to do what *I* can to break the cycle though. I'll keep trying here and there and see how it goes, not drop it totally. I LOVE the story about the girl walking out with the "gonna miss out!" attitude. I need to develop that, instead of feeling kinda rejected.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
