And if your husband had been the kind of man who had the emotional resources to be there for you when your Dad died, you might still be married today in spite of the lousy sex life.
True enough. I guess I agree with you because I would say "What's the point of being married if you can't count on somebody for that kind of support."
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The other thing, is that marriage holds out the greatest promise for radical acceptance. This is the key to an intimate relationship. However, this is also an ideal that is frequently not achieved in marriage, let alone in a short term relationship.
I'm pretty sure that I don't want radical acceptance anymore. I might actually want the opposite. If you find me even slightly unpleasant on your tongue, spit me out. Don't swallow and then bellyache for eternity. Don't confuse the sugar-coating with the sweet center or vice-versa or you'll be sorry and so will I.
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If you are with someone you enjoy and they feel the same way, I think you will find yourselves going back to each other like a healthy habit.
Interesting theory. However, it seems to me that people return to their sad vices or Pavlovian triggers more frequently than their healthy habits.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
