Sad as it is mikeinmidland is right do not trust H on money financial matters leave it up to attorney. As far as emotional decisions go, thats why the A takes care of it cause even if you are emotional H won't know.
Have to say when you have a 16 year old learn to expect anything. Doesn't make them bad children, they are testing the waters to adult hood. But it does suck when they do things like that because you feel you can not trust anything they do or say and it's like you have a two year old to watch over again.
JAK
Last edited by jak58; 07/25/0712:14 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Hey Mattie, I'm reading a book called "Fair Share Divorce for Women" by Kathleen Miller, a certified financial planner. I think it might be something you are interested in. I haven't read a whole lot of it yet because I've been out of town, but here are a couple of things I think we can all agree on what she has to say.
"My experience show that most women urgently need divorce advice. Many women dislike confrontation, shy away from conflict, and traditionally have taken a backseat to men with regards to money management. After the legal complexities and emotional nasties have been exhausted, money is what divorce is all about.
Money issues are critical when you go through the divorce process. If you ignore them, you will suffer financially. When divorce is over, regrets won't provided solace for the financial assets you've lost.
Trusting that the legal process will take care of you is the worst assumption you can make.
In some cases, the departing spouse has been carefully developing a plan designed to his intentions. Shock is a powerful weapon in manipulating an unsuspecting partner. In other cases, women overlook or underestimate the signs of impending trouble, naively hoping things will improve.
In my twenty-five years of experience dealing with divorce cases, I have come to live by the motto Trust, but verify."
I think this book could also be helpful to men.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Well.....for one thing....make sure that you take care of any personal stuff....i.e., the assests...no matter how small. List it all out in the divorce decree...no matter how much of a pain in the ass it is. If you don't...it'll be a pissing match of who's is who's. Kids involved? Get that straightened out....custody, visitation....the whole thing. It would be wise to get a lawyer or use whatever means at your disposal.
There's a lot more but it all depends on how vindictive your are feeling.
Yoyo, thank you for the tip on the book. I have read some, but haven't seen that one. I like the idea it's from a financial planner's point of view. DId you see my other thread called...??? OOPS. Just lost the name. Do a search by my name and it has to do with spousal support and retirement money. THere was good advice from experienced people!!!
Thread is in Surviving--Fair Spousal "Maintenance" & retirement benefits. Good stuff there. (I am going to reread it--I need to stop being so emotional about this D!)
You can be emotional if you want ( in private). Just let your attorney do the hard balling and H will figure out that you are not a wimp and that he will not be able to bully you in his sweet way.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
