Of course, too many of us get married for fuzzy headed reasons: I don't think I can get anybody else; I'm so lonely when I'm not with her; I'm supposed to grow up and have a wife and kids, aren't I; et cetera, ad nauseum.
But I always thought the big selling point of marriages was to overcome the rough patches. "In sickness, as in health," as they say. Marriage is to life what the "buddy system" is to the swimming pool. When you have cancer, when your house burns down, when your kid gets arrested, when you have that bout of depression, when someone you are really close to dies...
If you have a lifemate on whom you can really rely, you can live life day to day without worrying about whether he is going to take a powder should the feces hit the fan. Of course, just because you are married doesn't guarantee that your mate will help you cope with any of these things. I've heard too many stories of soldiers losing their spouses while they were in Iraq or Afghanistan. And if your husband had been the kind of man who had the emotional resources to be there for you when your Dad died, you might still be married today in spite of the lousy sex life.
The other thing, is that marriage holds out the greatest promise for radical acceptance. This is the key to an intimate relationship. However, this is also an ideal that is frequently not achieved in marriage, let alone in a short term relationship.
Marriage will always expose a person's vulnerabilities, weak spots, annoying traits, and vacuum sucking needs. People tend to hide these things until after they get married. The fewer issues a potential partner has, the better a partner they will be, but it can be hard to put your finger on these things until after you've been with someone. Another reason marriage gets a bad name.
I can't blame you for thinking it is totally nuts to get married. LTRs, however happen naturally. I think they even sneak up on people (see Lilliepearl). If you are with someone you enjoy and they feel the same way, I think you will find yourselves going back to each other like a healthy habit.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
