"Why have you choosen to stay so long with someone

[Heywyre]

So, I would venture to say Karen that your reason for staying where you are right now is more related to not wanting to "fail" as opposed to the other things you stated.

Most of us try and rationalize why we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of, abused etc. Staying in a bad R "for the sake of the kids" has never been a good reason in my books. some relationships just need to end, simple and to the point!

When ST asked me that question, it was more about my H not being emotionally supportive.

I can see where you are coming from. If all I had to deal with was the lack of sex in our R, I would probably agree with you, and stay anyway. But the lack of sex (usually) in a R ends up causing other much deeper issues - or most likely it is the deeper issues that have led to the lack of sex. Either way, as much as my H is a great guy in so many aspects, the lack of his being there for me when I need him the most leads me to say - "what the he!! am I doing here?"

I deserve to be loved, honoured and cherished - just like our vows said. Is that too much to ask of my H?

Screwing around with escorts sure isn't the way to show your S how much you honour them, that's for sure. And then, when you are willing to forgive and work on the R, they still leave you out in the cold. I suddenly realized I have been dealing with his lack of emotional connection for pretty much our whole marriage - that would be almost 18 years, not something I wanted to admit to myself. Whenever I was going through something difficult, I was basically told "I've learned to deal with things on my own, so should you" and was left to struggle by myself. What kind of a marriage is that?