I want to thank EVERYONE for taking the time to put in their opinions on my last stand talk! It has all been extremely helpful and has shown me that I have a lot of work to do still before I figure out how to effectively communicate with my WAW.
The following is just cut and paste notes from various posts that I want to take from in creating a third draft -- one that is MUCH MUCH shorter and to the point. ________________________________________________________________
W, I am not ready to follow through with the D next week and I am sorry I started it in the first place. How would you feel about postponing it for now?
I've been working really hard on myself and making changes that I know needed to be made so I can be a better person. Going through what we've gone through over the last 8 months has been incredibly hard, and I hated the way it all happened, but I'm thankful for what it has shown and taught me about myself and who I want to be. It was also good because we lost what was an unhealthy R, and that definitely needed to happen for the both of us.
I want to apologize for filing for D in the first place. It was an attempt to regain some control, and not what I actually wanted. However, what I should've done was show empathy and concern for you instead of trying to take that control.
I took both you and our M for granted, and forced us to live a lifestyle that I thought was "right," yet neither of us truly wanted.
I'm sorry for sending a request to unfile for D between our atty's, rather than just talk to you about it. It didn't come across as sincere and was definitely in poor taste.
W, I really do understand why you needed to do this and it's okay you know, and I am okay with it.
I'm working on my issues and will continue to do what I need to do to improve myself so that everyone benefits. But especially, I feel this is something I need to do for me.
I am sorry I did not treat you better in our M. I can see how my actions hurt you deeply. You deserved much better. I am sorry for pushing the D, and would like to file for legal separation instead of D, or drop either option for now. Are you open to either of those possibilities?
I'm sorry for how badly I hurt you in our M. I care so much about you -- enough to let you go if that's what it comes to. However, I don't want to go forward with the D at this time. Are you opposed to the idea of postponing it or going through a legal separation for now?
I don't need or expect an answer right now -- I just want to put the idea on the table.
I'm getting ready to consult my DB coach here shortly, so in the meantime if anyone reads this stuff and wants to comment about any of it, please be my guest! I'll be taking from this, as well as from my DB coach's ideas, and putting out a new draft later this afternoon or evening sometime.
