Why do these things happen VII

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I would have a completely different outlook on it if we were together. I just know that I want my marriage to continue, and have the thought process that at the moment we are not married in a sense. With that in mind I feel that this is something I can let go of if we are ever back together.
Making her pay for it probably was not a help in any way. Would think that just pushed her farther down the road.