Journaling a little-bit: Our house was assessed the other day and it came back way lower then I expected. This is good for me, because it means that I can afford to stay in my house and my girls will keep their home albeit part time. I am also a little disappointed that it came back as low as it did, but I am trying to look at it as a blessing in disguise.
My W is still doing things around the house: laundry, dinner, mowed the lawn yesterday, cleaning bathrooms, etc.... I am not to sure why she would do anything for me at this point, but she probably feels like she is just helping our girls out.
I need to setup sometime with my L since this D is speeding towards conclusion. I was holding out some hope that dragging this along would allow my W to see what she is losing, but that does not seem to be happening. So far she has been pretty fair in dealing with the D, she hasn't so far asked for more then what seems right. I do think she also was disappointed learning that she won't be getting as much money from me buying her out.
My W did some furniture shopping last night for the unknown house, why she told me this is beyond me. Does she have to prove to me that she is moving on? She filed I get that point.
I remembered something that my W told me early on in all this mess that pissed me off a little bit. Her father, who had a 2yr EA, told her that he was happy that he paved the way for her. He also told my W that he had to come to grips with the fact that my MIL could never truly love him the way that he needed. I know both of these statements made my W think early on and probably helped fuel the A more. It is amazing watching this all unfold and seeing how easily we all, especially my W, get influenced by those around us. It is also interesting to see how we surround ourselves with people that support us doing what is right or what is wrong. People seem to attract others that just validate our current state of mind and run from the people that want to challenge us to do what is right.
I still do not believe that my W is an evil person. I do not think she set out purposely to destroy our family. I do think she got sucked into something bad and evil. Now she is trying to take some control, unfortunately for me it is the easy way out.
Talking with my friend the other day I was amazed that I am still biased towards M. I still feel it is a life long commitment and that it is hard but worth the struggle. Even being STBD(soon to be divorced) I believe this and will stand by that belief with whomever I end up with.
My girls are still the awesome kids they have always been. My D5 told me the other day that it was OK that I could not get her signed up for soccer. She actually seemed excited about the other possibilities.
For me I am still saddened by all of this, though I feel like I have accepted it for what it is and am OK with it. I still do not know what life is going to look like for me in the future, but I am going to jump in head first and see how it plays itself out.
