I don't know about being "more demanding" in the way of maybe being kind of a jerk about stuff. Being a challenge is one thing, but when you've been married for x number of years, the challenge is no longer there. I think that's part of the problem in some, no a lot, of marriages. We get bored, we don't put the effort into making it spicy, exciting, etc. anymore. It takes effort or you just get into a rut w/ the same sh*t, different day stuff.

I still truly believe you need to get to a place where you will be ok either way it goes. If you don't want to continue living the way you are, you are going to have to talk to her about it and tell her that. You don't have to be a jerk & give an ultimatum or anything right at first, but you need to let her know that you aren't happy living the way you are. Like I've said before, she's happy living the way you guys are, so why change? Or maybe she's not and she's scared to talk to you. That's not a marriage.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10