Frustrated and Saddened #2

[Bakit Ngayon Pa]

Well, got the expected left hook this weekend. She stayed at her friends' house last night. Came home today at 5:00. Then went back out with the same friend at 8:30 and she texts me few minutes ago saying that she is on her way to her friends' house and will call me in 20 minutes. Again, she does not tell me that she is going to be staying there so I have been waiting for her to come home all night. I have been able to get some sleep, but not much.

Now, for some venting.... At what point does this become too unfair, too much for me to handle. She is out doing whatever she wants, whenever she wants and I don't say anything to her about it. It just seems like she is taking advantage of my willingness to work things out. I am starting to feel like a doormat and I don't like it at all. I don't know if she is testing me, but I suspect that she likes her new found freedom without any accountability and things won't be going back to the way they were. I think it may be time to set some boundaries. Anybody out there have any ideas on setting some boundaries with a WAW?

Hi,

Newbie here but have similar situation as yours. I hope that I might be able to shed some light on your sitch. I know exactly how your feel when you say you're like a doormat. My W goes out too late at night up until 2-3 am. Not to bars or clubs (as far as I know) but only to the beach/pier. This happens about 2x a week. Some weeks it's more depending on whether she's stressed or whatnot. At first (when our problems started) she goes out more than 2x but after some time I had to put my foot down. Hence we agreed to only 2x a week plus maybe one Saturday (maybe).

IMO the newfound power (and control) that my W has over me is overwhelming and intoxicating. She knows that she can do whatever it is she wants at that moment without fear for the outcome because she has this "hold" on me. I had to step in and cut the cord.

It might be different for your situation because your W might just up and leave if she feels threatened in any way. It hurts for this to be done to you (or to all of us) and I wish there was an easier way to make it stop but sometimes you just have to put your foot down.

If you feel like being a doormat is too much just reverse the trend. Go out and have a good time. Make sure you tell her where you're going and what time you'll be home and stick to your word.

Good luck. Hang in there.