Need advice, please

[Rob1231]

I told her that everybody has a list in their head of people they know. If she were to sort her list by "RESPECT" I would be at the very bottom. She has ZERO respect for me.

I heard this exact same thing from my wife, back in the early days of my sitch. To be honest, she was right about some things - I did need to make some changes to earn that respect back (not saying everything was all my fault, but that there were problems on both sides.) The thing she didn't see - COULDN'T see at the time - was that I could and WOULD change. And I made those changes for my own good, not just to try to impress her.

I don't have enough friends that I can confide in. Not sure it would matter anyway, because I promised her I would not tell anybody about the OM. I intend to keep my word, at least for the indefinite future. I am convinced that we will fix this, and I don't want her reputation soiled.

Good idea. I never told anyone about her OM either. Now that we are back together, I am COMPLETELY glad I did that - imagine your friends knowing this, and then you get back together, and they want nothing to do with your wife... ugly, messy, and not conducive to rebuilding your marriage.

Regardless, I am joining a men's group at church this week in order to extend my network. Gotta run, taking the kids out..

That's great, keep it up. Also use your GAL activities to extend your friends network - don't make it "all about your marital problems".