I know exactly how you feel...I did all those things too...I didn't find this place for a quite awhile and even then...like you it was difficult how "backing off" could possibly work...
My H made that part easy (really hard on me though)...he disappeared because he needed that space...he got very distant...said we would never ever be together...but here we are...
As for your statement...backing off for a month...all I can say is it will take MUCH longer...my H was gone for nearly 2 years...not all of that time with OW...but the beginning was...
So don't put a time line...don't mention the D word...don't call, text, or anything...just let him have his space because of anything will save your marriage it is distance right now...remember distance makes the heart grow fonder???...well in their case it allows them to think on their own with no pressure...
Take care...and my posts are in the archives...someone found them once so maybe you can too...Lin
