Not so fast!

[indybyathread]

I appreciate your advice Dave. You are certainly correct that I need to detach as much as possible from what he is doing and with whom. However, I think in his case, the more he initiates contact the more likely he is to feel like it is his idea to spend time with us and to (hopefully) come home. If I take the friendly give and take that we exchange regularly out of our interactions, I think he will feel dejected and slip further away.

My H is in a pretty severe state of MLC but has also been showing signs of depression for a few years now. He feels worthless. "You're all better off without me," is a common refrain and he believes it. I'm afraid that letting go too far will allow him to slip completely into the cave he is seeking and he'll want to stay there. That isn't good for the kids.

Its all a balancing act. Yes,I might get him back sooner if I cut him off and make him miss what we have here but if I remain his friend and supportive at least on that level, I feel like I'm extending a lifeline that he can some day use to help pull himself back out.

I don't know. Maybe that's all an excuse and I just can't stand not having the contact. Need to do some more soul searching on that one!