Your H sounds depressed to me. Does he have any goals, dreams, motivations? If he was obese before and only overweight now, at least he’s got some drive to move back in the right direction, but my question is why did he get so obese in the first place? Overeating is often a cover for other problems. How did his strict catholic upbringing affect him? Was his family like that too, where shows of affection are taboo? If so, why was that? What was going on in the home and with his parents to create such a cloud over everyone (assuming that was the case)? If he is depressed, does that depression go back to his childhood, in which case I wonder about abuse issues, or at least arguments, fighting, etc. If that was not the case, then was there other shame-based things going on that would fit in with a strict Catholic philosophy? There could be lots of reasons in his past to explain why he was conditioned to be withdrawn.
The other side of the question is why do you consider yourself to be HD? Wanting sex 3-5 times a week sounds great on the surface, but maybe you have a natural drive for say 2-3 times per week. Assuming this, could the extra frequency be due to some emotional need on your part? Do you need his attention to satisfy a part of yourself, to be accepted, validated, whatever. In other words, do you have issues that you are trying to meet through sex? In that case, you might get sex 3-5 times per week and still feel left out from your H’s life. Then you might look to your past for some answers.
I don't know that any of this is the case, just throwing out some ideas and trying to get you to think on a deeper relationship level. Funny how karma and relationship dynamics bring you two together as a “perfect” match, huh?
