Right now your wife thinks she's right and justified in leaving you. She's trying to paint to you as an "emotionally abusive" person to the world and to your children.
Politely ask her to stop. And ask her to speak to a competant family counselor with you to decide how to talk to the children about this.
I'm not an expert. If your wife continues to do this, talk to a counselor yourself. Perhaps saying to your kids, "Daddy and Mommy have lots of grown up problems. Daddy wants to stay together with Mommy. I promise you I will try to be as nice to Mommy as I can, but sometimes, even nice people don't always get along."
The anger inside you comes from the feeling of injustice. It's natural and good. Don't let it consume you.
