Whatisis is right, you need to detach from your wife. You are still reacting to things she does and comments she says. I find this was the toughest part of the whole process for myself personally. I would detach from my H's comments, and then he would just find a slew of new ones to cut me down and that kept me in a bad place.
I am finally getting to the end of my journey with this. I am now finally able to talk to my H now and when he starts with anything hurtful, I am able to understand why he says these things, and not react. It is a really good feeling. Anger is not really part of my life any longer and that is a really BIG 180 for me.
These things take time Sol, time, patience, and discussion with your C and others here. You will get there.
