Shocked H in NJ looking for DB help

[dlt1]

Hi Willing,
Wow, reading your sitch really helps me see the long term aspect. I keep thinking of tomorrow and next week, can't imagine 3 months! You have done a great job, it's hard realizing that you only change yourself, what she does is up to her. I was driving around last night waiting for a friend to get home. Found myself taking note of houses for sale as well. Talk about jumping off the "Cliff of Depression" into the "Sea of Hopelessness" LOL, caught myself feeling sorry and tossed those thoughts out of my mind. I always bottled everything up and did not deal, so now I say to myself "Ok this sucks and it could be the end, I'm sad." That way I've confronted my feeligs (somewhat) and then back to Act As If and think about where we'll be once we get through this together. My biggest worry is that she will stick to the 30 sep and with little or no progress, just want to bail. Did you two ever discuss deadlines or anything like that? Sorry, off target there.
Your R with D is good, keep your focus on yourself and D, the happiness will surely embolden you to keep your head up and keep getting better at being you.