Himey and Kat -- sorry! I forgot to get back to your posts!

H,

I think you're right in that I should go light on the "I'm changing" portion, but may want to steer clear of the owning my anger and control issues though too. It's probably best that I try to avoid painting old visions of the bad times in her head.

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My sense is that you've got 4 minutes or so before she tunes you out.

I think 4 minutes would be an astounding amount of time for her to stay focused! I'm thinking I've got a minute at best! I could probably ramble off the whole draft in the 4 minutes. Nonetheless, by talking about how long it would take her to tune me out, you've helped me see how making it short and sweet will benefit me more. Thanks for that!

Kat,

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If I am remembering correctly, you were, at one point, writing your W letters every week?


That is correct -- only 4 letters total.

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If that is so, then I would bet that a lot of what you wrote in that draft was already written in those letters as far as where you went wrong in the M. There is no need to repeat that stuff. You have written it, she, most likely, has read it.

Excellent point! I'm sure it's not like she forgot what I wrote, or anything. She did tell me when I had asked her about them that she had read "some of them," which in my mind honestly translates from Alien to English as meaning "all of them." I sometimes wonder if she's possibly even kept them (I'd love to think the answer to that is yes!).

Realizing this, I'm sure I can shorten it up and just hit the main points -- now I've just gotta figure out what she likely already knows so I can avoid that stuff, and focus on how best to entice her to consider postponing the D.

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One thing you might want to make sure you say is that you don't expect an answer from her right that minute.


Absolutely -- in fact, I think I'm scared to death at the thought of hearing an immediate reply! I think I might even go with Lin's suggestion to wait about a week or so prior to D day, so it becomes more of a crunch time decision and causes her to have less time to consider it and therefore possibly overthink it. I'm thinking I'll tell her the evening before I leave for the Orlando event, which will be exactly a week from D day.

Thanks again guys! All of this feedback has been fantastic!

GD


Me:29 XW:27
T: 10 M: 7 (2 kids)
Sep: 11/06/06 D'd: 12/07/07
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