He does love me and respects me. He treats me as an equal. We're not one of those couples that always fight, have power struggles, etc. We have a pretty equal distribution of work in our home, make about the same money, have respect for each other's career, talents, etc.
On the positive side, it sounds like you have a great foundation there. Though, after 20 years, I think it unlikely that he is going to change his romantic behaviors now. Can you accept the way he is and do your best to work with what you have? No, it does not sound likely that he is going to be the romantic spontaneous guy. Thus, what if you agree to be the one that takes responsibility for initiating as long as he agrees to try his best to consider your needs without sacrificing his own? Sometimes a compromise with a chance of success is better than a dream out of reach.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
