You have come so far. Remember this from 4 June 2006 in a response you posted to a post I made to you?
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Unhappy in 2004 - purely being fat. When I was growing up my Dad used to tell me I should never get fat cos then no-one would love me. H never thought like this - he had no issue with me being fat, but he didn't like to see me unhappy. He is happy I feel better, but he found our life during the diet to be "too regimented". Pre diet, we used to have a lot of fun drinking cans of beer then getting a pizza or Chinese, then eating chocolates after that. We used to eat a lot of cheese too - macaroni cheese and feta cheese caneloni were our favourite meals, and I refused to cook these or let him cook them. Why last Sept - his response was "I feel trapped". He seemed in a mini depression - "I have no enjoyment of anything in life". Blame - I was the selfish and thoughtless one, in my mind I was unhappy with myself but I could have dealt with it a whole lot better. I told him that I had to change and our lifestyle had to change. OK, maybe that's not such a bad thing but what he heard was "our life together is making me miserable". I can be a bit of a drama queen and shout a lot, crying to get my way. I probably did some of that too.
And now:
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So now on a subconcious level I'm thinking I can have a happy M OR I can lose weight and not smoke ... this is nuts! So I've decided now is the time to LET GO of that subconcious link ... and lose the flab. Not easy for a girl who loves her food (luckily I like exercise too, but if I wanted to eat all I want to I'd need to walk for about 10 hours a day, and I have an office job ...)
I told H I'd like to lose weight, I've found a great book about using CBT (cognitive based therapy) for it. It advocates examining your eating and exercise habits and making minor, manageable changes, monitoring the results and adjusting where you need to. Sound familiar?... yes I can DB my own body!!!!!!
