Hey Matilda: It's reasonable to expect the 16-year-old to lie!! I'm not saying it's OK... but when she does it should not be a surprise. THIS is not sad. Heck, when I was 16, I went out of my way to lie to my parents...
On the other hand... my wife lies to me almost every day. This is NOT acceptable. Habitual lying to a spouse is pathological and unacceptable.
Please, for your own sake (and the sake of D16), please do not equivocate the two... If you do, it will drive you crazy...
