Moving Forward,......taking baby steps.

[~Sol]

Whatis.

Yes, I am upset. I am sick of where I am in my marriage. Right now I am not as angry as I was this morning, or last week. I am just looking at the bigger picture. There is nothing but more turmoil if I continue on with my wife in this marriage. My counselor told me, my friends tell me, even my kids tell me to move on.

I am sorry but I cannot change her, fix her, or make her love me. She is lost, and she doesn't want me as her mate. She says she sees me as another human being, so there's no emotional connection for me, she had an affair, fell in love with another, and now she lives alone in a trailer can.

I am suffering for no reason but my own blindness......there is nothing there, and I know that this place is about saving a marriage - but I don't want to save it anymore. Reality is that we are not compatible - but hostile to each other. She was hostile to me when we dated - I made an innocent comment about her son she left in Mexico when he was 2, and she took offense, and in her anger I got to see the bitter wife I would get to know for the next 10 years.

So I can safely say that I am thinking clearly, not in anger, but I am tired from all of this and to remain together is a recipe for disaster. My eyes are opened, that's all.

I hope you can see I am not merely giving up on my marriage, but realizing that it is not worth saving - not for more years of an incompatible relationship.

I am not being selfish either in saying I want and need to be happy - that is just the human factor. I know what I don't want, and I want what I don't have - a loyal and loving partner in life.

That's it.

I am just moving on. Just moving on........