Thanks, all. Over on the SSM Board, one of the ladies said her therapist said it would take at least a year to grieve after an A. I know I push myself and am very hard on myself a lot of times. My motto seems to be "just do what you gotta do" and I'm not allowed to allow myself to feel "weak" or like I can't "handle" something.
The whole D sitch was so very hard. I am grateful that mine seemed to pass more quickly than others, however, I am still left to deal w/ a lot of emotions, etc., and I need to allow myself to do that. I can't expect to just say "everything's going to be ok now, get on w/ it." Yes, that's what I need to do, but I also need to allow myself the *negative* emotions, if you will, at times too. The hurt, resentfulness, anger, etc. If I don't allow myself to feel it, I'm just burying it and it will come out sooner or later.
H is at a place now where he tells me that I am the only one he wants. He misses me. He misses the boys and he just wants to come home. I pray that I can "do what I gotta do" in the meantime and heal myself so that I truly can be "well" when he gets back and we can move forward w/ the new & improved marriage that I worked so hard to put back together.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
