One day at a time

[sadhearted]

I am just devasted right now. We went up to see his grandmother and I don't know if she'll get better or not. She's ready to quit. It was all I could do to keep from crying right then and there. When we were leaving she was saying her goodbyes like this was the last time we would see her. So we leave the room we're both holding back tears. He wouldn't let me touch him. I figure because he didn't want to break down in the hospital. I drove him back to where he had parked his car and he just sat in the van. By this point we're both crying he is letting me touch his arm. And he made the statement he has never felt more alone then he did right then. Stupidly I said I'm right here your not alone. He said your not supposed to be I don't know why you are. Which then lead into an hour long discussion about us. Short of it he says he can't trust anyone to open up completely with. Still no talk of actual D or anything like that. He just can't trust me. He doesn't know what he needs from me so how am I going to give it to him. Stuff like that.

I just feel really dejected right now. I've done nothing but cry since we left the hospital. I know he's talking from pain but with his grandma it just makes it that much harder.