H. you have a very good therapist there I hope your husband doesn't get more intrenched in his position if he does I'm sure that the therapist will handle it well. As far as the $64,000 dollar question I've been asked it, but not in exactly the same way. My answer was because I didn't think I deserved better, I had identified with the role of "victim" and had become comfortable in that role. Deeper than that the style of someone being emotionally unavailable may have felt like my father and thus familiar. Down another layer a fear of being alone and ultimately death.
