Ahhh, you put my feelings down exactly BeingMe. Why would I assume the worst? Gosh, it's hard to understand.
I agree that he's unrealistic in expecting me to trust him. When we reconciled in April, he said he understood that it will take a long time for me to trust him, but I don't think he's connected the reality of what that really means. I'm just now understanding that these "little" things ARE the trust issues.
When it comes down to it, I'm living on faith right now. Not necessarily faith in him, but faith that I'm doing what's right for my family. I can swallow some heartache if it is for the long-term good of my children.
I was feeling a little discouraged this afternoon, and went to an email from a former counselor who I was seeing during the affair, and found comfort in what he said:
"One of the goals in life is to feel secure. Your marriage has theatened your personal and relational security. As you work through this you can find "secure moments" where you should try to stay for the moment and enjoy that warmth and comfort. As you find yourself feeling more secure, you can offer security to others...Enjoy the good moments, endure the difficult ones, and know that this is a process."
