I don't know what purpose this is serving to him other than he just needs someone to listen to him
It could be that he is bored like you suggested before. My H came to see me a day earlier just because OW was not there and he was bored! But of course, it could also be that he is slowely inching his way back and testing the waters. Let's hope for the best. HUGS
Well, I'm afraid I don't have good things to post.
My H tells me that he "can't do it". Yes, I believe it when he says how sorry he is for his very poor choices. I think he came out of replay and regretted. But he cannot undo his mistakes and he does not want to put in the effort it would take to work through all of this together, so therefore he is letting me know that he "can't do it".
I didn't think I would be so sad about it, but of course I am. I thought that his recent efforts to communicate so much with me meant something but I guess he was just touching base with me. I think he longs for what once was years ago.
I am very disappointed in him. And I am very sad that he gave up.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
just give him space now, I have SO often heard that after replay they need space to make their own choices and conclusions...do not push, just let him be, and let him know you're there, whatever the outcome....I think it might just do wonders ....
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinderellaman, I have done that, really. I never call him. It's always him who makes the contact. Of course, a lot of it right now is because he is selling the house and because I'm going to be taking care of the puppy soon (which he now has & is bringing to me). He's starting over now, moving to another area, getting away from all things hopefloats. I think when he says he can't do it, he's made his choice and he's moving on away from this---and not in the direction of reconciliation.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Sounds like fear talking to me. I have to tell you hope that I hae not had any reason to be hopeful in months but I began reading and doing the study guide that goes with The Power of a Praying Wife by Storme Omaritan. I feel such peace and relief and I have just read the first week's reading and only answered less than half of the questions for this week. It just sounds so logical and clears up much of what I have been wanting to know about praying for my husband and leaving the situation to God.
I don't know what your beliefs re and wouldn't be presumptuous enough to tell you what to believe but I am so glad I bought it and would highly recommend it to anyone who still wants to save their marriage.
You are so worth working for and hopefully your H will figure that out before it is too late.
Take care and God bless.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
A New Me, I am a Christian person, and would probably enjoy that book. I will look into it, so thank you. It may be fear talking, but in the end if he just doesn't feel we are worth the effort, then there is no marriage or relationship. I find it hurtful to think about what he did. He didn't seem afraid or embarrassed when he left me and had an affair. It didn't bother him then what our families or friends thought of him. And, that was when he was running about living a sordid life. But now, suddenly, he has guilt and he can't do it. I could understand it when he was in replay and acting like he did. I guess I thought once he woke up from that, he would be desperate to get back all that we had together. Boy was I wrong.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Sometimes I wonder if it isn't the thought that they would have to admit that they were wrong. That their behavior was just nuts and destructive and there was not real reason for them to treat s the way they did. It is very hard for some to admit that they have issues.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
first, I am so glad you have started posting a little again..I have missed you.
I am so sorry that your last exchange with H was so negative, and I know how sad you must feel right now. I do think ANewME is onto something. Your h sounds fearful. Also, it sounds far from finished, or definite or forceful. I hope you can just hang back (as I know you have been), keep praying, and let him stew a little more.
Big hugs, oldtimer, who would have thought we'd be doing this 2 years down the road,
Hope, Your h hasn't woke up yet. He's still deep in the crisis. Replay over? I don't think so. He's just had a few moments of clarity. He's still not ready to do the work required to search within for what ails him.
No, he's telling you the truth. Right now, he can't do this. He's can't come back. Give him some time. He's still half baked and requires more time in the oven.
Keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
