H coming today, what do I do when he asks how I am

[SallyM]

thanks guys. I just wish I felt as fantastic as you all are saying I am doing. I feel like crap. literally. although I suppose I am proud at how differently I handled things than I would have a few weeks ago. still, I just don't understand why he is doing this. and even if I am becoming the woman he fell in love with, he also doesn't want to be in love with me anymore, and I can't make him.

thanks for all the words of hope and of support. they really do help. I wish I had found this book/site sooner. I feel like we might have had a chance. but who knows what the future will bring. I am terrified of tomorrow's meeting. I just feel like he's going to be a complete ass, or worse, mention the D word. He's going to be button pushing like nothing I've ever seen. he comes after therapy...told me today he's going to stop going in a couple of weeks, that its useless, but think he's still going tomorrow.

gonna try to hold steady. this is really hard, harder than anything I've ever done before. but I suppose taking a baseball bat to his head is illegal, so what choice is there?