Am moving over from Midlife Crisis--Was MLC with young personal trainer there. Please check it out.
Brief synopsis (sorta). I am 39 (40 less than 3wks away) as is my W. We have been married 13yrs, with D10, S7,and D5. We have not been happily married for some time. With 3 pregnancies, my W went from 125lbs to 225lbs--she had postpartum depression was on Zoloft for couple years. She was LD in a SSM. Had many fights just to get sex. It was always the same--I got ED and PE problems which made things worse for her.
In March 06, she started in "Biggest Loser" type local contest. She got personal training 3x/wk with 24yoM trainer. She lost 85 lbs so far and looks beautiful and much younger now. Given all the time spent together, they got close and developed what W called an EA by 12/06. She told me in January and I have been messed up since. I'm on Zoloft now--doing better and focused on the marriage now more than in years.
Her EA ended about a month ago now, and am trying to piece things back together. We just returned from 2wk family vacation. It was up/down. Thought there were good family moments, and there were relationships discussions (good and bad).
She continues to deal with loss of relationship. Says it is going to take her time to get over, but she has told everyone in her life about it. Last night she said it may be the best thing that ever happened to our M, but she is not ready to go forward yet.
We haven't ML since New Year's and haven't kissed since Feb. I try to hug her but she pulls away. I express myself better with touch than words, so this is hard on me. If anyone has read my other thread, you've learned that she is no longer LD. The woman who never wanted touched or to receive oral sex has become quite adept at masturbation and told me she has been using a vibrator (a gift from girlfriends) for couple months. She just let me in on this before trip. Took on vacation and I know used a couple times since we've been back. It's hard on me to know that she is doing this now, when was LD before. Hopefully, it will continue and translate back into a sex life with me.
I have admitted I was not what she needed for years, but she can't yet say she had any part in prior marital troubles. I asked her last night to read SSM and DR, but she has no desire now. I am impatiently waiting to develop a happy fulfilling marriage again. Hopefully, will start back soon.
