Where does he sleep?

[indybyathread]

I totally understand what you mean about the irritation that comes from hearing them say things like, "Do you mind if I use YOUR phone?" Makes me want to smack him! And I agree, it is contrived, their making a statement when they do that. I have put my foot down about being called "Dear". He is first generation American with very English parents. He frequently says things to other people in a somewhat affected way, as in ending a phone conversation with, "All right Dear, you take care." I flat out told him that if he says that to me one more time I will rip his Adam's apple out of his throat. I don't care if we never live together again, I'm not going to be treated as an aquaintence after 16 years of sharing a bed with the guy.

I think you are doing the right thing. Don't let him force you to start labeling things as yours and his. Unless, that is, if it fits your program. For example, I had the fortune of having a spare room I could set up for him. I WANT him to think that I no longer consider my room his because I want him to feel like he can stay in that other room without feeling pressured to sleep in "my room". Guess it just depends on what it is.

You are doing great! Keep it up!