And put a lid on my constant craving for physical contact... no one can be expected to want to touch and hold me and be held all the time.
It's not so much that you have to put a lid on it. It's okay to want things. The thing to put a lid on is the thinking that if they don't touch you all the time it means they don't love you or don't love you enough or any other projection.
I proactively make a positive move which actually bears fruit (flat, rectangular, green fruit) and end up feeling more insecure? WTF?
The thing to remember is that our feelings are not always logical. You may not understand this but I can look at myself in the mirror one day and feel great and the very next day I can feel "fat." Obviously there is no real difference in my weight but somehow I really "feel" differently. Which is why I don't like to rely on my feelings to judge how "things" are going - my feelings are just too subjective. I don't ignore my feelings either.
Also you are more aware of how you feel and trying to figure out why so you might feel more insecure because you are aware of feeling insecure instead of having it be an unconscious feeling. maybe in the past instead of feeling insecure you felt angry, disappointed, sad, etc. and now you are aware that you feel insecure??
Anyway... Chin up! Also think about it this way. Your wife may have made sure to tell you these things not because she thinks she has to reassure you but because it's her way of being loving toward you. She may not feel up to sex but she is still thinking about it and wants you to know how she feels about you.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
