You know, the first thing that comes to mind it to protect your interests - seems you are working that with your atty.
Second and more importantly, to me, my W would be breaking a BIG NUT by telling the kids you have to split because you were mean to mommy. Divorce is hard enough on the kids without pushing them to take sides and her BS comment like that is what that will do. I'd call her on it. In my mind, you should work to agree that the D process is hers and yours and that shielding the kids from the crap of all of it is job number one. That you agree that you cannot be together any more, but when discussing with the kids, that it is a mutual decision, that you have both worked hard and making it work but you and mommy cannot be together any more. Period.
I was lucky in that my W and I agreed this early on - there was not name calling or blame placed on the other - it was a mutual thing and we had to work through it - but that we love our children more than anything else in the world.
'nuff said.
And congrats on the surgery! Always a nugget of good in all that is bad. Hang in there....
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
