I think she was frankly shocked that after threatening ME with divorce That sounds familiar.
Although the affair seems to be over for now, the simple fact is that I not only no longer love her, but I can no longer trust her, and I deserve better. The A is over? That has to be good for your kids and Mrs. Choc so she gats back to reality.
Here is a part of a post from the No More Mr. Nice Guy form. When I read it, I thought of you.
” A woman can’t follow where a man doesn’t lead! Tell your woman what you are thinking, what you are feeling, and what you want. Don’t make her guess or read your mind. Don’t wait for her to bring up problems in the relationship, its not her job and will make her feel like a nag. If there is something in your head, let her in on it. Don’t let resentment fester and build inside you until you blow up or lash out in passive-aggressive ways. Deal with things NOW!
Always treat a woman with love and respect.
Don’t keep secrets. Always tell the truth. Don’t do anything behind your woman’s back. Always do what you say you are going to do. Don’t procrastinate. Finish what you start.
Counter point If we treat everyone equally, how is a man to lead then, if he's at the same rank as the people he's supposed to be leading, and how are the people who allegedly wish to follow suppose to follow when equality states that she's equal to her partner? My guess is a lot of women, say they want a leader, but then want to dictate how they want to be lead, or that when face with the prospect of actually letting the man lead, which would dictate that they actually be subordinate to their husband, they really don't like the sounds of it and back off.
How FAR would she be willing to be lead. Would she be willing to be lead from the BMW dealership to the Kia dealership because the guy felt that was better for their overall finances, or would that be the deal breaker?”
I don’t know how much or what type of leader Mrs. Choc wanted, so some of the leadership comments may be off.
I also leave my marriage SO much stronger than I was before, as through my faith in God, the support of my friends and family, and the faithful, TIRELESS and unwavering support of NOP, I also thank NOP for his work that he did to help you Choc.
I lost 28 lbs (and added muscle), become more confident, lost my fears of confrontation, and learned to push thru the pain that Life throws at you from time to time, instead of running away from it or merely procrastinating. Losing 28#, becoming more confident, etc, all worthy activities that are not developed easily.
I read a forum, where lots of the spouses seem to not say much about their unhappiness and just walk away from the M. So many of the LBS wished they had a mate like you Choc. WTG for looking the dragon in the eye and fighting for what you and most people see as the right thing to do.
