It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Trixi]

Sounds like a good plan re the anniversary. Sucks that it's signifigant like our 10 year. Oh well.

I am quite torn between the "stand tough" and the "keep welcoming" positions. I think I keep being welcoming because I don't want that connection turned off...

Once he leaves the house, I am going to be making some changes; some of which will be more "apparent" if there is time in between of him not seeing me. Kinda like when you see your own child grow, the transformation doesn't appear huge. But when you see a child that you haven't seen for a year- you are shocked at their growth.

I am not relishing the idea of him being gone; I sometimes wake in the middle of the night and get panicky thinking about how he soon won't be next to me in bed; and that this may be the last time in my life that I wake and he is there. ugh