I apologize for not better keeping you updated on my sitch, and responding to your recent posts. I've been incredibly busy trying to save my marriage, and be a good dad, and -- oh yeah -- maybe sell some advertising every now and again, so I can pay a bill or two.
On Tuesday of last week, after much prayer and deliberation and after over two months of loving but firm patience in the face of nothing but deceit and my wife's ongoing affair, I made the very difficult decision to allow my attorney to file initial pleadings with the local Court, including a Motion of Dissolution of my Marriage (divorce). Included in these five pleadings are my formal request for custody of S14 and S10.
Last Wednesday, those pleadings were in fact filed at the courthouse, and Mrs Choc. was served at her place of employment last Friday. I decided to have her served there both to spare the boys any possible outburst at home, and also it felt appropriate since that's where the behavior started -- and continued and was condoned -- that led to the breakup of our marriage.
She did NOT react well, and I think she was frankly shocked that after threatening ME with divorce three times in the past 30 days, I was the one who filed. And my formal request for custody of our boys has rocked her world. She has since gone from not speaking with me, to being as sweet as can be and begging me to "don't take them away from me."
It's going to be a rough ride.
This is NOT what I wanted to do, but I feel that I can no longer allow this stubborn, unrepentant and ungodly behavior in my marriage and in my family. My love for her is gone, and it's time to move on. Although the affair seems to be over for now, the simple fact is that I not only no longer love her, but I can no longer trust her, and I deserve better.
It does give me some solace to know that NOP said that Mrs. Choc. is the SINGLE MOST STUBBORN CASE HE HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED, so guys I'm here to tell ya, I was NOT exaggerating when I told you how tough she could be! LOL
I also leave my marriage SO much stronger than I was before, as through my faith in God, the support of my friends and family, and the faithful, TIRELESS and unwavering support of NOP, I have grown in so many, many ways. I am closer to God, I lost 28 lbs (and added muscle), become more confident, lost my fears of confrontation, and learned to push thru the pain that Life throws at you from time to time, instead of running away from it or merely procrastinating.
ALL of those things will serve me well in my next relationship.
Anyway, that's what's going on.
thanks,
Chocolateeyes
Seems like I'm caught up in your trap again Seems like I'll be wearin' the same old chains Good will conquer evil and the truth will set me free And I know someday I will find the key I know somewhere I will find the key
Seems like I've been playing your game way too long Seems the game I've played has made you strong When the game is over, I won't walk out the loser I know someday I'll walk out of here again And I know that someday I'll walk out of here again
("Trapped," by Jimmy Cliff, as sung by Bruce Springsteen)
