Husband, got the book. Thanks! Definitely sounds like something I could use.
Aud: thank you for the words. Exactly what I needed to hear. Although I don't dwell on these things and seem to just be having a few bad days, I also know that it's obviously in the back of my mind somewhere and I need to figure out how to get rid of it. I should be happier than ever now that all is going so well, right? That is what I am going to start focusing on.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I have not read that one yet. I have another on stress. Also the "save my marriage" books if you would like.
Talking to my W on the phone after the appt. she asked if I would still be able to take son to swimming. I said yes. Well I screwed up I thought it was at 5:30 and It was at 5:00. At 5:30 when nobody showed up I called W. She told me it was at 5:00 'IT WAS WRITTEN ON THE BOARD". I told her I sorry I had allot of things on my mind today and thought is 5:30. I talked to the instructor and got him in the 6:00 class. Called W back and told her this. W came home in a BAD mood. I just agreed with everything she said. I caught some kind of virus on my lab top and asked my wife to look at it for me. (She is good with soft wear). When she was looking at it she saw one of my short cuts to a "Save my marriage" book I was standing behind her (she knew I was there) and read "save my marriage" out loud and said 'I see you were looking at some strange web site" I didn't say anything. She was in a pretty pissy mood the rest of the night. Kind of brought me down. Then I remembered I need to work on my own happiness. I have to admit. She does not want to talk R or M issues. The thought did cross my mind if I severed her Separation papers maybe then she mite want to talk about it then.. But like you said, I can’t do anything if I am not ready to follow through with it.
Husband
Husbnd
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I know--it's a strange place to find yourself: you're basically where you wanted to be, but you're not feeling what you expected you would.
You get rid of these thoughts in the back of your mind the same way you made it through crisis-mode: choose to think about what you're grateful for and continue to focus on becoming the person you want to be.
It's the leap of faith. It won't ever be easy. But it will be worth it, regardless of the outcome of your R.
Hi Cades. Here's another book idea for YOU. Help! I’m a Military Spouse – I Want a Life Too! Authors: Kathie Hightower & Holly Scherer. Publisher: BookSurge. It has wonderful ideas for non military spouses, too.
BTW--I hope this doesn't sound too corny, but thank you for your sacrifices. I appreciate your H's service to our country, and hope your family is blessed while he is away and upon his safe return.
Thanks, all. Over on the SSM Board, one of the ladies said her therapist said it would take at least a year to grieve after an A. I know I push myself and am very hard on myself a lot of times. My motto seems to be "just do what you gotta do" and I'm not allowed to allow myself to feel "weak" or like I can't "handle" something.
The whole D sitch was so very hard. I am grateful that mine seemed to pass more quickly than others, however, I am still left to deal w/ a lot of emotions, etc., and I need to allow myself to do that. I can't expect to just say "everything's going to be ok now, get on w/ it." Yes, that's what I need to do, but I also need to allow myself the *negative* emotions, if you will, at times too. The hurt, resentfulness, anger, etc. If I don't allow myself to feel it, I'm just burying it and it will come out sooner or later.
H is at a place now where he tells me that I am the only one he wants. He misses me. He misses the boys and he just wants to come home. I pray that I can "do what I gotta do" in the meantime and heal myself so that I truly can be "well" when he gets back and we can move forward w/ the new & improved marriage that I worked so hard to put back together.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Haven't had a chance to look @ it yet -- I'm at work, oh I mean I'm sitting here at the computer in my "mu mu," smoking a cig and eating bon bons
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
