Feeling pretty detached today. Kinda looking forward to school starting. Dont get me wrong I love my daughter, and spending lots of time with her.......but I spend almost every moment I am not working with her. I think I will be able to do some more "me" things when she starts school.
I have been thinking of getting a little notebook and making a list of all of the things I have been putting off and working on them... getting my eyes checked.....I need glasses dentist......perhaps living without dental pain might be nice lots of things.........
Something I have been wondering about too. At work today, I started thinking about wife, and what she might be doing. I was able to shut it down pretty fast. I think I am getting to a point where I dont care...... So if I completely get there. Then perhaps I move forward and really live my life "as if" as if I am going to be without her forever?? I know its been only 3 months, but I am tired of all of this. I dont want to file, and I dont want to push her to file......but honestly it is getting old fast.
I feel like I am letting part of my life slip by while I wait for her to make up her mind. I need to make some finacial decisions pretty soon.... Not this minute but probably in the next couple of months....
Anyhow all you fine feather friends have a nice saturday night, I am off to bed in a bit to get some needed sleep!
G...totally get where you are coming from, the waiting is the hardest part. Not knowing, is such a scary thing. I feel your pain. Living in limbo is not an easy thing for any of us. Hang in there!!
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Catching up, sounds like your PMA has really picked up, good for you. I love looking at those older couples and thinking that is great for them, all that work worth the effort. Keeps me going.
I get the life slipping away comment, waiting, just waiting. Feel like I got in the wrong line at the DMV.
Keep up the good work, and a laugh from her is always a good thing.
Hey everybody. Hope all is well. I am ok, (I think). Thinking on going out for a bit, but am pretty tired......longer I sit here, the less likely I am going anywhere but bed......
I havent been posting as much lately well because I havent been thinking about all of my crap as much. I am not sure if I am getting past some of this, or I am just hiding from it? Or what I really think is perhaps I am just taking a much needed break from all of this....... is this good or bad? I am not sure. But it is kinda like, ok stop this friggen rollercoaster, cuz I dont feel like riding today........
Got talking to my neighbor 2 doors down this evening, found out that he is in a similiar situation as me.... might have made a new friend there.
NDDT, Sometimes a break from all of this stuff is good. I took all my library books back and didn't even post on the board or read it for a few days. I think if you are constantly reading about this stuff and posting on the board it is just a constant reminder. I think it is good to step away for a few days to collect your self, and to think about you and what you really want. Don't worry we'll be here when you get back. Matt
Thats it. Just sort of putting it on the back burner for a bit. It is so tiring to be constantly mired in it all. I just feel like living again for a bit......
Well, just recieved word from WAW herself, that she has gotten her own apartment. She plans on moving in about 2 weeks. She sez she has a list of things that she is planning on getting from this house. Went over it briefly with me, cant object to any of it so far. Actually seems better than I thought.
Her new place is about 5 blocks from here, on a road that I drive several times everyday..... Might have to change my routes to avoid drivebys.
I am not happy about this, but not surpised. Actually this took longer than I thought it would. Definately not a step in the right direction.......Awww crap situation excalates again.....
Out of my control I guess. Now what? I need to sit back and think, not react I guess. Not happy. This sucks.
Whatever. Damn. Why? Feeling like calling in sick and not going to work.....getting drunk. Wont. Going to work. Why do I want to even hope for a resolution again? Maybe time to proceed... Time.. need to take some time. Got to get ready for work......
Everyone, hope you have a better night than I will probably have.
Well heading out the door to work in about 5 minutes, I got 12 hours to ponder "what now?"
I guess it is probably a good thing I have decided to go to work, and not go with the drunk option.
When I did talk with her, I did give her the opening to tell me if there was anything else she needed to tell me....."anything else?"
She said no......... looks like I will be eating off a card table with lawn chairs for furniture soon enough....Need to get it together a bit here. I got a good eye for deals, ie rummage sales, auctions and the like. LOL crazy thought, as much as my kid poops, wish she would start pooping quarters...lol
Ok out the door, chin up, soldier on and the like.
Sorry about the kick in the gut about the apt, NDDT, but it is not the end of the world. You can't make her decisions for her, but you can do your part by giving her her space and making your life what you want it to be.
I am glad that you chose the work option instead of the getting drunk option, but I hope you don't spend your entire time at work dwelling on your sitch. You yourself have said that you feel better when you don't dwell, so take your own advice.
