how can she think i would just give him up, or not want him or to spend time with him?
i know the answer, but i just can't seem to get it wrapped around this brain. she is lost, confused and the alien. i just thought she would at least get this.
Ok. If she believes you don't want him (and I'm not sure that's the case - but who knows what she believes), then she is confused. Ignore her mental state on this one - stand your ground, calmly. You want to share or have joint custody of your child. That is in his best interest, and you intend to be a part of his life.
Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
Ok, so just had a great convo with the W. She contacted me at 9am which is her early time, so at least she is thinking of me when she gets up.
Tomorrow is a state holiday, and W has a family BBQ, she wants to take S and asked if it was OK. I said sure not a problem. Then she has been talking about a washer/dryer for her place for some time. I happen to come across a super cheap deal at work and thought I would help her out. I know nothing says love like here is a gift to help further cement your new life without me, but I want to try and take a stab and service as her love language. So i bought them, and asked her on the phone, that i thought I could get her a washer/dryer set, but I didn't want to intrude if that would be a problem. W was really excited, "you would do that for me?" told her i would love to do that for her. She said thanks, and we worked out a plan, so i will take them over tonight and hook them up. Hopefully, I get to hang out with her tonight since we both don't have work tommorrow. Act and expect positive and get positive results.
Well the next agenda on the call was what I and S would do that morning. I shouldn't have streched my luck, but it paid off. I said I was taking him to the parade, and asked if she would like to go. She said yes and thought it would be exciting. I just hope she doesn't back out, she has before.
So I have time with her tonight, at least until the handy man job is done. Then I get them all morning tomorrow, I'm pretty up right now.
I guess I better sit down and go through some responses and scenerios that may come up. Make sure I'm ready and in the right frame of mind. Better get some new clothes for tomorrow to! Always shine.
Good talks with W, Atlas -- sounds like it all went very well, and the risk at pursuing in regard to the parade seems to have paid off too. Great to see you in a PSM (positive state of mind)! Hope the evening and coming morning work out well!
well things went pretty positive today, but i swear she is practicing db'ing, haha.
so apparently there was a communication error on where we would meet for me to pick up s after work. i meet up with her and she seemed really pulled back. but right after she handed s to me, she grabbed me and gave her sorry hug, head into my chest and i kissed the top of her head. we went our seperate ways.
so i went and got the washer/dryer. delivered them to her place. got the washer set up but i need a vent and a cord change on the dryer.
then we talked about our r. not once did she say divorce or anything that relates. she talked alot about things she was upset with me for, especially last friday. i'll pay for that for a while. totally understandable as well.
she talked about the future with both of us, her dad is coming into town and wanted me to do someting with all of them. told her we could throw a bbq at the house for everyone. that will be tough cornered by all the inlaws, but it has to happen some time. think it is next month. wants to go to the parade still and said she was excited.
then she says that she has noticed the changes and she is perplexed. i asked how so, well now your the man i always knew you could be and that i wanted, but i can't figure it out. i used what someone else said on there thread, thank you for noticing and i understand that your skeptical but i'm going to keep up my changes to continue to change my life for the best.
then the s started acting up, so i ran to get some oj and other supplies. she thanked me. then she ended the night.
overall it was very productive, and it was a good time.
my sil, not w's, has been talking to w. w told her that she is one minute thinking divorce, but another she thinks she is destroying the family and wants to come home. she said she is sad and wants to work things out, but not sure where to start and what to do.
i can't believe she said these things to her, she had to know that my brothers w would tell me. not sure, w is pretty trusting. so i'll keep my mouth shut for now. but i think that is a great sign.
well it defiently started to slide back today. the parade was great but she did snap at me once about getting up to go smoke, after she just did like 30 minutes earlier. i just sat there and looked at her, no face though just expressionless. she caught herself and apologized, really caught me though, i haven't seen behavior like that in ages, even through all of this. but really the parade was very positive, except for that.
we decided to go get some lunch, and things were going well, laughing, she been touching me, even snuggled up for a minute. so on the long walk back to the car, thought i would try the hand hold. i seriously think i just about got slapped, oh she was pissed. it was rather funny. so lunch was a real joy, two people saying pretty much nothing watching the boy throw his food.
so then she realizes that she needs her dryer still hooked up. suddenly she is sunshine again. so i go back to her place, and she wants to talk. tells me that she really enjoyed the day and wants more family activities. sounds great. then she tosses in, that even if the d goes through she still wants family time. hmm, didn't say anything, but i look at it like this, we d, we're not a family. maybe just a diffrent kind, but i'm not spending my time with her.
so other then that, the talk went well. i had to run to 2 hardware stores to get the right plug. got it working, and her new friend comes by. we meet, she seems nice, is a bombshell. well we are getting along great, talking, laughing, she asks me about 2 guys she is dating. so after 30 minutes i take off.
w calls later, and says you won't believe this, but her new friend said i was cute and wanted my number. jokingly i say back, well she knows a good one when she sees him, why don't you give me her number. w snaps back, "your mine!" haha, a little jealosy may help. probably not though.
w tried to ask a lot of questions about what i was doing tonight, and i kept it at just going out. so she calls later, and tells me that she is heading to her families bbq, that her and s will be back around 9, and have a good time tonight. not sure what that was about, but she hasn't let me in on her whereabouts for some time.
I think she is getting interested again, good for you!
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
