Replying to my own post, I've already thought of at least one way the pastor approach could backfire: If he suggested/recommended and pushed abstince prior to marriage. I understand from what I've heard that hes a rather old fashioned pastor and I think she might strongly consider his advice if directed straight to her. The church recommending abstince prior to marriage is an issue thats come up with us a couple times in the past when she has given me her reasons for wanting us to be married.
