Thanks Sandi & RCR for posting this. It is so helpful to get information from the MLCer's persective.
Originally Posted By: Sandi2
I am sure you desparately want to see any signs of "hope"...but please just try to do as I have suggested. It is hard to explain how it affects a woman that is ready to run, but it is like poison to her. It is like when she sees the hope in your eyes or voice....it acts like a threat to her. It pressures her. To you, logic dictates she would "like" to see you encouraged and hope in you...but it works the opposite way. I know...it doesn't make sense. The wonderful differences between the sexes.
Sandi, I believe this very good way of describing how my H is reacting so it may not just be true of women. I believe my trying to convince my H that we should work on our M has been like poison for him. It seems so logical to tell your spouse all of the reasons to stay together and that is why I have had such difficulty not doing it. My H and I went out for lunch one time, no discussion of anything, I just listened and bit my tongue. He said that is the only decent time we have spent together in months. Go figure...I obviously didn't follow through because now my H and I have pretty much no contact. He is avoiding me...avoiding dealing with anything.
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So how would I take steps forward without giving her false hope? I do not want to hurt her but I am still so unsure.
This is so my H. He is going nowhere (can not commit to anything like where he is going to live even) and I think this explains why. If I push, he goes the opposite way.
I would really love more information from the MLCer's side of things. Are there other posters here or any resources that you could recommend?
For some strange reason, your posts helped me feel a little better today.
