I agree too...even though I was the LBS...I could see the self torment in my H...I remember one night sitting in the car with him shortly after he had left (before I knew about DB'ing)and crying as I told him I just wanted him to forgive himself if he couldn't accept my forgiveness...I could see how inside he was so confused and hurt...I also remember telling him another time that "you can keep drinking and buy things but at some point you will sober up and find yourself alone with your things and you will have to face yourself"...I am not sure if he heard me but I knew he was running fast and furious from himself...
So yes...this is where I found compassion for my H...and was able to maintain to my love for him...
