It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Dom R]

heh.

well, obviously, you're getting two diametrically opposed types of advice:

A) "stand tough, make him suffer"

B) "keep being welcoming and leave the door open".

I think that each has its place, depending on what state of mind your husband is in. it's tough to tell which would work best.

In some cases, i've read of that "tough attitude" waking the spouse up. But in other cases, it drives them away. At least for a while.
it's a tough judgement call to make.

Its also in how you do it. If you take the tough stance, it's important to do it in a way that doesnt also burn any bridge back to reconciliation. Or puts you in a "you'll come crawling back to me" type position.


PS: there's also a compromise position to what mike said: rather than "dinner out, and no sex" in contrast to "home cooked meal and sex"... there's always the traditional, "well, at LEAST buy me a nice dinner!!" approach. There's a boundary for ya